i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she smelled like a LAN party
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Randomize