Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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