Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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