Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
