I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
