those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
