I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I will be naked everywhere
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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