I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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