can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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