Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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