"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize