I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
