I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
