He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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