So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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