I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize