It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize