you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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