im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
