:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
