Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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