Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
