I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize