soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
