and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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