They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
