He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
