if you like me you must not know who I am
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we're making bets on your personal life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize