Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
