fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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