Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
