How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
