That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
