LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
