That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
