Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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