Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Its about making memories worth repressing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
