The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
