This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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