after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
two words: eviction party
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
