YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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