You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I need moral support for this bender
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
