Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
