there was a trapeze. enough said
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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