Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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