Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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