I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
