she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
