i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
