Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
