Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
