im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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