Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
