Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
