I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
