I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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