Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We are all done wearing pants today
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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