Yo dont text me then not text me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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