Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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