he wants to bone in the snuggie
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
